i can't write poetry but i think in song lyrics

I don't really know what it is about summer

During the winter I felt so depressed I didn't want to move I thought that it was just the time of year
Recently hasn't been much better though


to make a music reference
I often told myself that when things went poorly for me I was just playing the right rhythms and just hitting the wrong notes or vice-versa
Although lately I feel like I've fucked both of them up

My good friend just told me "Ben, It's easy to lie to yourself,It's a habit that's hard to break"
I know I believe him, but now I don't know if I can believe myself...about anything

This song makes me feel a little better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3heVPCv3AU

We'll fight like hell
to hide that we're
giving up

He said She said

Everyone speaks louder when they voice they're opinion and
there's been alot of that lately

Can't we just all go for a Vietnamese bubble tea and a swim?
I know I'd like to

Calculus

The title of my math textbook is Calculus of a single variable
The questions are easy
Evaluate, Integrate, Find Derivatives
I excel
I live a life of multiple variables
Everything is dependent on something else
Nothing is absolute
Nothing is simple

P.S. I like to organize my thoughts as if I was writing a blog it makes my life sound more exciting. If I could go directly from my mind to this website I would blog so much more often.

Folked Up

So I recently made a "mix tape" for a good friend entitled Folked Up. I picked my favorite songs that fit loosely into the genre folk, and I saw as the playlist developed the songs that picked all contained amazing lyrics. I just wanted to blog a few of my favorite quotes that I noticed when I listened a little closer to all these amazing works of art

"Got a pen in my hand. Got a girl in my Head"

I say, "Closeness is too much for me,"
and dismiss you with a smile
You say, "Wish away the closeness
and imagine it's a mile"

I wake up, check my senses,
one two three four five
Number six missing again
Same old game seek and hide

You play the artist, saying, ’is it how she moves, or how she looks? ’
I say, it’s loneliness suspended to our own like grappling hooks

You're not ill and I'm not dead
Doesn't that make us the perfect pair?

Two days
nothing left but two days--
on Monday my life ends and
my life starts

I'm looking forward to meeting new friends

Sight

I've been wearing my glasses lately
but they hurt the tops
of my ears
I like seeing but is it worth the pain?
I like understanding but is it worth the pain?

I want to talk I just don't know what to say

Childhood Memories

I haven't been on in awhile and that's not because nothing significant has happened to me, but just because nothing significant has happened to me that I feel could benefit anyone else's life...I mean that is why we blog, right?

I'm here in Orlando, Florida at after my third day in Disney parks, and I thought going back to my third time at Disney at age seventeen that the parks would loose a certain amount of luster that the overwhelming commercialism that embodies these four parks would be too much of a burden on my inner child to truly enjoy them for a third time. Yet, I'm still having fun, and no I haven't hugged Mickey Mouse, but I can't help but smile when I see him. The only regrets I have are for Little David, my youngest brother, I feel like we, his older siblings, take some of the magic from him (You know he hasn't once stopped for an autograph, is that his fault? or his older brothers and sisters pushing for the next ride?). Anyway my dad still says we're here to create Childhood Memories, and I know that I have enough to last a lifetime, I just hope that Little David gets his chance.

P.S. Cabbages and Kings first album is going through final mixing, title is tentative but I'll be sure to post a link to the download when it's done

our still lives posed

like a bowl of oranges

can't get you out of my head...

The Universe, The Earth

"The universe is shaped exactly like the earth, if you go strait long enough you end up where you were"

This line was taken from a song by Modest Mouse, and if makes me feel so sad the I understand and agree with what is means. What does it mean? It means that everything repeats itself and this wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that I applied this to my day to day routine. I'm starting to feel that I don't have any impact, that I have nothing left to give, and I need to find a way to break this cycle. I need to find new meaning in the everyday because I feel like I'm continually going strait as the minutes, hours, and days pass, but I still feel like I end up where I started. I need to find a new tree to climb, a new tangent to explore, a new hell to conquer, or maybe just a new book to read.

My past year

I think the fact that I blog about whats in my head instead of whats in the world is a good thing. Instead of summing up my year or decade I just put on some good tunes and let it all flow. I mean if I ultimately were to write about the the past year I'd say that what has happened really isn't anywhere as important as what will happen. I'm only seventeen, assuming that human life expectancy is exponentially increasing that's only about about a tenth of my life. Who I am isn't defined by what was or what is, but rather what will be. The reasons resolutions are so widely excepted is because New Years Should really be a time to look ahead instead of reflect, so thats what I'll do I'll prepare for the future to define myself. I hope the next year is the best I've ever had and I think that that's the best resolution to make this year the best you've ever had...and I will

Listen a Little Closer

One of the cool things about music is its ability to surprise you. I wish that everyone could hear what I hear when I put on a new album. I hear the emotions expressed through the chord progressions and shifts. Anyone can discuss the plots and twists in a new movie or tv show, or even a book or poem for those of us that still read, but I feel all of this raw emotion in the music I listen to and it keeps me intrigued and involved. All of these artists are truly that, artists, even though they are not often given the kind of credit they deserve for example people pay millions for a work of art but a beautiful composition of music goes for $0.99. A friend of mine has a music library that grows exponentially compared to mine, but that's because the way we listen are completely different. I can listen to one song fifty times and still not get everything out of it. I guess the point is listen a little closer you might find something you missed and you might like it, maybe we can discuss it sometime, maybe you saw something I didn't.